Kayla (Chunmiao) Wang, Ph.D.
Staff Psychologist at University at Buffalo Counseling Services
From Facilitator to Member: Insights from the Other Side of Group Work
As therapists who deeply value the power of group work, we learn to manage group dynamics, foster safety and care, encourage vulnerability, and guide members toward insight and growth. Yet, many of us rarely find ourselves on the other side, as a group member.
For me, the opportunity came at the 2025 AGPA Connect, where I participated in my first Two-Day Experiential Institute group alongside many other therapists passionate about group therapy. My session was titled Striving to be Seen: Co-creation of Engagement and Intimacy in a Group from a Relational Perspective. Over two full days, we immersed ourselves in the experience: talking, listening, processing, challenging, and reflecting.
As an introvert, the pace was overwhelming for me at first. We had to move quickly through the forming stage, getting to know each other, finding our places, connecting and disconnecting, all while being closely attuned to one another (who are also therapists) and the group leaders. I watched and experienced the group dynamics shift as members built safety not only by forming alliances but also by expressing frustration and doubt toward the leaders, a safer outlet for some than turning that vulnerability toward peers. I witnessed firsthand how key group factors, such as cohesion, catharsis, universality, and interpersonal learning, unfolded among us.
Through this, I gained a new depth of self-awareness. I realized part of what makes me a thoughtful group leader, my ability to observe and quickly catch feelings and reactions became a double-edged sword as a group member. I was quick to observe and share my observations, but it was far harder for me to share personally and vulnerably compared to others. Internally, I wrestled with conflicting voices. One urged me, you only have two days, share, share more, be vulnerable. The other cautioned, no, stay safe, don’t stir things up. Two days aren’t enough to resolve anything, and you’ll regret it. At the end of the group, as we processed our experience, I glanced at the session’s title once more: Striving to be Seen. It hit me. I had not truly strived to be seen by others. I had seen others, and I had seen myself, but I had not fully allowed others to see me. Staying “invisible” had felt safer, but it left me with sadness and a deeper awareness of the barriers I have built over the years.
This experience was eye-opening. It reminded me that when we are not therapists, we are simply people, people shaped by our histories, our experience, and our circumstances. In groups, we seek connection, understanding, and safety. We want to see others and to be seen ourselves. But striving to be truly seen, is not easy. I believe many people feel that same tension.
Participating as a group member offered invaluable insight into what truly feels like sitting in that vulnerable space. It has motivated me to continue seeking experiential group experience, not just as a facilitator, but as a member to keep growing, learning, and striving to be brave enough to be seen.
This experience deepened my appreciation for the power of group work. It highlighted not only how healing and inspiring groups can be but also how therapeutic change often arises through small, simple moments: a validating nod, a gentle challenge, a knowing glance. Because ultimately, when we are not therapists, we are humans, seeking connection and understanding, striving, in our own ways, to be seen.